Hoda Kotb, of The Today Show with Hoda and Kathy Lee, visits cancer patient Frieda Silverman at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital.
It was during my mother’s third visit to the hospital (In a period of 6 months my mother went through 6 hospital stays – 5 out of 6 of these were for two consecutive weeks each time. At times it felt as if we were residents of the hospital!) that I was able to surprise her with a special visitor. During these stays I was with my mom round-the-clock, alternating with my sister, to make sure my mom was getting the best care, while being her advocate.
These hospital visits were filled with anxiety, frustration and hopelessness…..how else could a patient feel after repeated visits to the hospital. One complication after another. It was admittedly frightening, knowing that my mother was getting weaker. The worst of it all was the Emergency Room – this in itself is a separate story to be told- and I would like it to remain forgettable.
Rarely can one find moments of joy during a hospital stay – unless it’s in the maternity ward – but somehow I managed to create one for my mother.
No one wants to be in a hospital if they can help it! Hospitals are filled with sickness, despair, frustration and are as dreary as can be. They are reminders that life is fleeting – and that death is “around the corner” for some of us.
One evening Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ had arranged a special event – a dinner with NBC host and reporter, Hoda Kotb, of the Today Show, later edition with Hoda and Kathy Lee. She was to speak before a group of breast cancer survivors about her own experience. It was held early in the evening, in the lobby of the hospital, and I had signed up to attend the event and hear Hoda speak. It was a welcome break after a tough day at the hospital with my mom.
Hoda is a wonderful speaker, she has a vibrant personality which comes through in her presentation. She was there to talk about her experiences as a breast cancer survivor. I was enamored by her story – she truly has a remarkable tale to tell of survival and of her renewed and reinvigorated sense of life. To be a cancer survivor and to have beaten the odds of this horrific disease is truly profound and inspiring. You can’t help but admire a cancer patient’s courage and persistence in dealing with their aggressive treatment, enduring the battles, overcoming the complications that arise – and then coming out of it victorious and surviving! These cancer survivors represent hope for so many.
Once Hoda finished her presentation she conducted a question and answer session. I thought about asking her to visit my mom afterwards, but hesitated. I didn’t want to impose on her time, she obviously had a busy day and schedule. But when I heard people asking questions about the wine she and Kathy Lee drink on the show, I figured, “What the heck,” the least she could say is no. I won’t know unless I ask. It meant so much to me to surprise my mom and bring joy into the dreariness of the day. I felt my heart beat, as I decided to become bold. I explained to her that my mother was a stage 4 lung cancer patient and had been in the hospital in the intensive care unit. I asked her if could she come up and meet her. Expecting to hear she didn’t have time, she wonderfully agreed to visit my mom after her book signing. Arrangements were made for her visit. There was a sense of excitement in the air.
My mother had no idea this was taking place. I phoned my sister on my cell phone, she was sitting with my mom, and told her about the surprise visit. We both were excited. My mother had no idea this was happening. The people in this ward – patients, nurses and technicians – were all thrilled to see Hoda come up to their wing. The moment Hoda entered the room and greeted my mom, my mom looked stunned and in disbelief.
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Hoda Kotb and Frieda Silverman, in bed.
My mom just lit up when she saw her and she was thrilled to tell Hoda that she watches her and Kathy Lee every morning. My mother appeared to be getting back to her old and happy self. It was worth everything to see that. She normally was a very positive and happy person with an inviting laugh but obviously her stay in the hospital depressed her. It depressed us all. We took photos, we laughed, and Hoda gave my mom her book. But the greatest gift of all – was the gift of Hoda’s presence – her bubbly and caring personality was genuine and she greeted my mom so warmly . She told me she felt the love of her (Frieda’s) daughters in this room. Yes, we loved our mother dearly. She was truly a wonderful mom – so loving and caring. I miss her so. My mom passed away about two or three months later. I will always be indebted and grateful to Hoda for bringing joy to my mother during this very difficult time at the end of her life. What a selfless thing to do!
The following morning, we watched the Today Show to see whether or not Hoda would mention my mom during her visit to the hospital. She did and spoke so warmly of my mom and of her visit to the hospital. On TV she mentioned, “Frieda and her daughters,” and showed a photo she had taken of my mom during her visit on the air. Unfortunately, the oncologist came by for his morning rounds at the exact time the show was on the air but we still managed to see the most important part of all.
Thank you Hoda Kotb – for bringing joy to my mother and for being such a wonderful, caring and generous person. Hoda is truly as nice and genuine as she seems in person!
When I saw how much joy this visit brought to my mother, I decided to try again. Who could I approach? I went to my apartment in NY, once a week to collect my mail. During this visit, on the way back to the hospital in NJ I decided to make my way through the Broadway district before I got to Pennsylvania train station. At the time, Hugh Jackman was finishing up his one man show, which was a huge hit. It dawned on me that he was such an amiable and friendly sort, why not try and ask him. I decided to be brave soul and wrote a note to him asking if he would consider visiting her in the hospital and surprising her. I knew the chances of having him come were nill but I figured I would still try. I left the note at the stage door to be given to his assistant. It didn’t happen. Hey it didn’t hurt to try. My mother was at her end of life and I would have done anything for her– I would have given her the world! I felt privileged to have her as my mom.
Thanks again Hoda for making it happen! You are the best!